Punny Costumes
Punny Costumes
are easy-to-make, no-sew, Halloween
costumes based on word plays.
Rather than elicit shrieks and
screams from fear, they’ll
elicit moans and groans from bad
puns.
Here are directions
to make 24 Punny Halloween Costumes.
- ALL
THUMBS
- ANCHORMAN
/ ANCHORWOMAN
- THE
CRACK OF DAWN
- BEHIND
THE EIGHT BALL
- BEHIND
THE TIMES
- BLACK
HOLE
- BOOB
TUBE
- BUTTERFINGERS
- COCKTAIL
- DRAG
QUEEN
- DRESSED
TO THE NINES
- FACE
THE MUSIC
- FEELING
BLUE
- FEELING
MY OATS
- FREUDIAN
SLIP
- SLIP
OF THE TONGUE
- GREEN
WITH ENVY
- HAIRBALL
- HIP
CHICK
- IRON
CURTAIN
- MIXED
GREENS WITH DRESSING ON THE
SIDE
- PIG
LATIN
- PIGEON
TOED
- PINK
EYE
If you like these
costume ideas, let me know because,
with enough encouragement, I’ll
fill a book with them including
photos and illustrations. They
are so fun to invent that once
I get on a roll (a very easy punny
costume, by the way) I can’t
seem to stop. And while I am in
creation mode I am always fishing
for compliments (yet another punny
costume) when I describe the costumes
to friends and family.
If you have a
photo of yourself dressed in one
of these costumes or if you have
other Punny Costume ideas you’d
like to submit, send them to Bonnie@BonnieNeubauer.com.
I promise to groan out loud upon
seeing/reading them!
1.
ALL THUMBS
Get an image of a thumb by searching
the internet, photocopying your own, using clip art,
drawing one, or taking a photo
of one. Duplicate this thumb many, many,
many times. Cut out all the thumbs.
Dress in a color close to your
skin tone. Affix the thumbs to
your outfit with safety pins.
If you have access to label paper,
print the thumbs on this paper and peel off
the backs and stick them on your outfit.
For extra fun go to a costume
or magic store and get 9 thumb
tips so every finger is a thumb.
Attach the ninth one to your nose
with face glue. You are now all
thumbs. And you better pray no
one brings a hammer to the party!
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2. ANCHORMAN
/ ANCHORWOMAN
Get an image of a ship’s
anchor by searching the internet,
using clip art, drawing one or
taking a photo of one. Dress in
a business suit and affix the
anchor to your chest area with
pins or tape. Poof - you are ready
for hire as an anchorman/anchorwoman. This is a great custume for office parties (that most people don't want to attend anyway) where you are already dressed in a suit.
3. THE
CRACK OF DAWN
If your name is Dawn, just get
a Hello My Name Is sticker and
wear it. Then make an arrow out
of black electrical tape and affix it so
it’s pointing to your butt
crack. If your name isn’t
Dawn, get a picture of Dawn Detergent
and affix it to your chest. Then
attach the arrow so it’s
pointing to your butt crack. And
voila – you are the crack
of dawn! I told you these costumes would be real groaners!!
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4.
BEHIND THE EIGHT BALL
Get a large inflatable beach ball, inflate it and paint it black. Now draw a circle on a piece of white paper. Draw a figure 8 in the center of this circle. Cut out the whole circle. Glue
or tape the circled 8 to the front
of the black beach ball. Tie a ribbon
or string around the mouth piece area where you inflated the ball. Hang the
ball from your neck making sure
to tie the string so it hangs
in front of your entire midriff
section. Dress head-to-toe in
black. This costume is not an
excuse to spend the evening playing
pocket pool.
5.
BEHIND THE TIMES
Get a copy of the New York Times.
Open it to a spread and carry it it in front of your
face and part of your body. You
are now behind the times. If you are a bit unsteady on your feet, cut some eye holes so you can see what's going on in front of you.
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6.
BLACK HOLE
Dress in a plain white t-shirt under a 100% black outfir from head to toe. Cut
a decent sized circular hole in
your black shirt so that the white shirt is showing through. And that’s all
it takes to be a black hole. (A
variation of this costume is ass
hole – figure it out yourself!)
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7.
BOOB TUBE
For large breasted women or those
who want to stuff a bra or buy
a fake set of breasts in a costume
store. Wear a tight fitting top.
Attach a tube (from a roll of
toilet paper or paper towels,
or any other tubing you have a
available) in between the breasts.
For extra effect, put TV like
knobs where your nipples are.
Carry a remote control. If people
are mouthing off at your bad pun
of a costume, just hit the MUTE
button!!
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8.
BUTTERFINGERS
Dress head-to-toe in yellow. Get
8 wax butter wrappers and make
them into cylinders by taping
them around lengthwise. Put one
on each finger, leaving thumbs
free. If you don’t like
idea of having really long butter
wrappers hanging off fingers,
use 4 wrappers and cut them in
half before placing on fingers.
Drop things all night long with
your butterfingers. Your host
may not be too pleased, but the
other guests will get a good laugh.
9.
COCKTAIL
Get an image of a rooster and
a maraschino cherry by searching
the internet, using clip art,
drawing them, or taking photos of them.
Get a fake animal tail. An easy way to create one is to go to the pet store and buy a cat toy that looks just like an animal tail. Dress
head-to-toe in a light color to
look like an alcoholic beverage.
Attach the rooster image to your
back, the tail to your butt, and
the cherry on your chest. You
are now good enough to drink.
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10.
DRAG QUEEN
Get a large image of
The Queen of England and attach it to heavy
cardboard. Attach the queen to
a long piece of rope and then
drag her on the floor behind you
as you walk around. Voila –
drag queen!
11.
DRESSED TO THE NINES
In your word processor, make 4 pages of the number 9 in all different sizes –
small, medium and large. (Just make a few and then copy them
them until you have many, many,
many 9’s.) Print them on
label/sticker paper. Cut them out, peel the
backs and stick the 9’s
all over you. If you like, wear
fancy clothing, too. Even though
you are dressed to the nines,
don’t be offended if you
are not given entry to a black
tie function.
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12.
FACE THE MUSIC
Using face paint, cover entire
face in white, then draw, in black,
musical bars and notes all over
your face. Dress in black. Just because
you are face the music doesn’t
mean you will all of a sudden
be able to do so.
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13.
FEELING BLUE
Dress in dark colors, but not
dark blue. Wear bright blue gloves
or mittens. Touch everything!
Don’t let the mood of this
costume keep you from having a
good time. If you live in a warm climate and there are no winter gloves to be found, take my Mom's suggestion and buy blue rubber gloves normally for cleaning.
14.
FEELING MY OATS
Glue, glue gun or tape a lot of loose
oatmeal onto a pair of gloves.
Dress in a solid dark color so all attention will be on your hands. Wiggle your fingers a lot. Be
on your good behavior and don’t
anything other than your oats when
you go to a party in this costume.
15.
FREUDIAN SLIP
Get an image of Sigmund Freud
by searching the internet, using
clip art, or drawing one. Attach
it to a woman’s slip or
half-slip. Wear only the slip,
or wear the slip over skin-toned
clothing. If you are going to
a party with someone else, have
them dress as Slip of the Tongue (see below).
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16.
SLIP OF THE TONGUE
Get an image of a tongue (a good
one is off the Rolling Stones
cover) by searching the internet,
using clip art, or drawing one.
Attach it to a woman’s slip
or half-slip. Wear only the slip,
or wear the slip over skin-toned
clothing. Just because you are
a slip of the tongue doesn’t
mean you have to spend the evening
putting your foot in your mouth
(which is a good example of a bad and disgusting punny costume that won’t
make it into the
book.)
17.
GREEN WITH ENVY
In your word processor print out
very large letters N and V in
black. Dress head-to-toe in green
(if you like, also cover your
face, hands and hair). Stick the
2 letters on your chest. If you
prefer, you can take black electrical
tape and form the letters N and V on
your chest. I actually went as
this a couple year ago and won
a prize. The competition wasn’t
great. But then again, the prize
wasn’t so great, either:
a plant that was already half-dead.
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18.
HAIRBALL
Get a large inflatable beach ball
and cover it in hair. You can
get hair at the craft store, from
your brush, your pet’s brush,
or an old doll. Tie a ribbon or
string around the mouth piece where you
inflated the ball. Hang the ball
from your neck making sure the string is tied so that it hangs right under
your chin. For extra fun, paint
on whiskers, get some cat ears
and a cat tail. This costume has
the Booger and Coolio (our wonderful cats) seal of
approval.
19.
HIP CHICK
Get an image of a chick (baby
chicken) by searching the internet,
using clip art, drawing one or
taking a photo of one. Attach
it to your hip area. Even if only
for one evening, it’s fun
to be a hip chick.
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20.
IRON CURTAIN
Take a golf iron, balance it over
your shoulders. With heavy cord,
drape a curtain over the iron.
If you’re in the mood for
drama, later in the evening at
the party, do something to enact
the falling of the iron curtain!
21.
MIXED GREENS WITH DRESSING ON
THE SIDE
Wear all different shades of green
clothing. Get an image of a bottle
of salad dressing by searching the
internet, using clip art, drawing
one or taking a photo of one.
Attach the image to your side.
Be careful if there’s a
salad bar at your Halloween party!
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22.
PIG LATIN
Turn a sheet into a toga. Wear
a pig’s nose which is easily found at a costume store. Of if you
are talented, draw a pig's nose using face
paint. For extra oomph, eakspay
in igpay atinlay!
23.
PIGEON TOED
Go barefoot. Get a small image
of a pigeon by searching the internet,
using clip art, drawing one or
taking a photo of one. Copy it
10 times. Using rubber bands,
attach a pigeon image to each
toe. If it’s really cold
out, choose another costume!
24.
PINK EYE
Dress totally in pink or wear
a long pink bathrobe. Make the
letter I out of electrical tape
and stick it on to the back of your pink clothing.
If you find a lot of people at
the party are avoiding you, remind
them you’re not really contagious!
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